I mentioned to a few friends online that our first-year composition class would be blogging here, and one of those folks, Kat at Keep the Coffee Coming, has passed along a few headlines she thought you all might enjoy. These bits of fun provide a meaningful prompt to “take a second look” at the use of language you believe to have been clearly composed. Thanks for the contribution, Kat.
THE YEAR’S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2004:
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[no, really]?
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[now that's taking things a bit far]!
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[not if I wipe thoroughly]!
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[what a guy]!
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[see if that works any better than a fair trial]!
If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[you think]?
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[who would have thunk it]!
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape]?
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge]!
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]
And the winner is…. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?
In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER…… PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer’s field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR – THE BELL DOESN’T WORK)
technorati tags: ENGL106, KeepTheCoffeeComing, headlines
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